Tuesday, December 11, 2018
'* ————————————————- Madison Markey * ————————————————- AP US History, P. 2 * ————————————————- 30 September 2012 * ————————————————- DBQ homework #1 * ————————————————- * ————————————————- Question abridgment: The caput is intercommunicate to symmetrynalise how the french and Indian contend affected the trinity principal(prenominal) principles that were important during the sequence frame up of 1740-1766.Th e writer could take on both(prenominal) demonstrable and negative sides of the advance of fix of war through for individu eithery unmatchable of the cardinal categories. They could also list the ca expenditures and effectuate of the war. The question is also asking to highlight/paraphrase the proposed schedules as swell up as remote facts to nutrition the well true thesis. The question is telling the writer to describe the taboocome of the kin amongst Britain and itÃ¢â¬â¢s American colonies through the semipolitical, economic, and ideological relations. A potential problem could be forgetting to allow in the outcome of the war turn strictly direction on the issues and battles during the war.A nonher problem could be discluding the events preceding the war which is highly vital, not only for support of thesis, provided also to move d witness an array of circumstance friendship in the entry carve up, in direct to relieve whizself the funnel shap e affect. * ————————————————- * ————————————————- Intro: forwards the French and Indian War, intravenous feeding other colonial wars were fought amid French and British forces during the time flow rate of 1689 and 1763.However, the French and Indian War, later known as the Seven YearÃ¢â¬â¢s War was the most gelid because it ultimately destroyed the kindred between Britain and the American colonies. The main(prenominal) conflict aroused during the 1600Ã¢â¬â¢s and early 1700Ã¢â¬â¢s when the British began their pursuit of sound cast which provided each of BritainÃ¢â¬â¢s American colonies with an overabundance of freedom. Later, Britain tried to grade the colonists lifestyle and trade part with the Navigation Law yet, they neer truly administered all of the correlating rules.Th e colonists enjoyed the insufficiency of limitation midst the Salutary Neglect and when Britain began imposing laws and taxes, it tempestuous them. From 1740-1766, amid the French & Indian War, BritainÃ¢â¬â¢s greed for land, control, and childbed against the American colonies eventually caused major debt in England, harsh give-and-take toward their own British soldiers, and a negative aftermath of political, economic, and ideological crisis involving the American colonists * ————————————————- * ————————————————-Essay #1: The outgrowth sample strive wholly deserves their worst. The entry paragraph supplies a expert holdground and setting. The thesis is very strong and clear. It provides a specific example of each of the triad categories from the do. There is aught that I wou ld not accommodate in this try on because everything is relevant to the topic. For the demonstration, they organized it by utilizing the funnel method. In the showtime prison term of each luggage compartment paragraph, she refers back to a piece of her thesis. The anon. states the opinion of both sides: Britain and the American colonies.She provides each of their perspectives while including her own opinion. She includes the scrolls by lightly referencing them and not incorporating too ofttimes of the com roller address or not enough. patch effectively utilizing the documents, unnamed fully supports the specific with her own information. different information involving the church and state relationship could study been include because as the war progressed, the abundant Awakening occurred and because of political and spectral leaders, the separation of church and state was desired in legion(predicate) a(prenominal) of the colonies.The anonymous restated the refer ence that they already used and they do the naive mistake of typography document C when it was actually a different document. Besides that, on that point is not much much I would hire include because the quiz was close to stainless and the anon completely nailed the prompt right down to a nice stopping point. Hence, the writer deserves the score of a 9. * ————————————————- * ————————————————-Essay#2: In the opening sentence, anonymous wrote that in that location were exactly lead wars fought between the British and their rival French forces yet, there were actually a total of four wars fought. The introduction paragraph does not provide a well-developed thesis. It is very umbrageous and unclear however, it does address the prompt. The deflexion that they use within the root tree trunk paragraph do not fit well and they appear awkward except they do not arbitrate with comprehension of the analyse. They provide a decent setting but not enough detail about(predicate) specific events that run the war in clubhouse to spark the war.Next, anonymous squeezes three different documents into one dispirited paragraph with about atomic number 23 sentences. They should reach spaced out the sources and actually explained the documents to show their disposition of the point of spate and the significance. They did flack to organize it by specifically talking about the economic aspect and how it affected the political and ideological aspects together. They arrive a sentence by use a reference which I would not have include because it sounded like the paragraph was cosmos pen around the document.I would have started with a topic sentence to build up to the reference. They include a lot of pincer and superficial events which ar immaterial therefore, unnecess ary to include. However they do attempt to lift that of the three categories, ideological relations were the least(prenominal) important which is a nice way to include the category. Overall, I believe the essay deserves a unforesightful under a seven. * ————————————————- * ————————————————- Essay#3 The intro in the ternion essay does not include much background preceding the thesis.It strictly states that Ã¢â¬Å"the war had great effectÃ¢â¬Â on each of the three categories it does not say whether they were positive or negative effects. The thesis is limited and poorly written and only restates the question without all other specific facts or examples. I would not have included so many [sic] symbols in my prompt because they break out the flow of the essay. The essay resembles a standar d english essay because it is organized with an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph is about one of the three categories from the thesis.In the political paragraph anonymous states very bighearted information and fails to cite the information about Braddock or any information at all. She contains little pick uping of the documents and merely tells what events happened in each of the paragraphs but does not describe them with appropriate after-school(prenominal) information. She also fails to include a time frame and dates for the events. In the economy paragraph she talked about unity yet failed to mention the severe debt that britain faced which was a huge economic crisis. unknown should have thought of the questions such as why and how while she was writing.They could have arranged their essay a little otherwise instead of organizing it so that with each new category comes a different time decimal point they should have just put the ev ents in chronological order and wrote about how it affected each of the three categories during and after the was. unnamed also had a some conventional errors such as commas. They also use first person point of view in the tercet to choke sentence of the third paragraph. The third paragraph is confusing and presents a lack of understanding of tarradiddle because it just lists vague facts.It does not include a lead or transition to the conclusion. The anonymous nearly ignored the documents and failed to include 50/50 ratio. The conclusion simply restates the thesis and ends with an encompassing sentence of how the war caused alter but they never argued whether it was for the worsened or the better. Nor did they summarize their essay or show the indorser they know that there is supererogatory significance. In my opinion, the errors in the third essay seriously bear away from the quality of the prompt ergo, the essay does deserves less than a five. ———— ;————————————- * ————————————————- By reading the essays, I acquire that mistakes are easily made when writing in a constricted time period so it is important to expend the given time wisely. I found that some of the documents are probably tough to use but it is important to have a 50%-50% ratio of information because that is what truly proves your knowledge of history and sometimes the documents will help you recall information. Also, one should always cite the document because it looks and sounds horrible if otherwise.I learned that all information must go toward improving the case or it should not be included. Lastly, I found that developing a thesis is not that wakeless especially if you take a moment to analyze the question but it could ruin your correct essay if you get on the wrong track and it is super vi tal in find the score that you end up with. I now understand that by following the strategies in the book and practicing more often, writing a DBQ will begin to come natural. * ————————————————- * ————————————————- * ————————————————-\r\n'